Stardust

We're sucking on air like we have the lungs of heavy smokers

But its not what's on the inside that's keeping oxygen out

It's what is out here

The plastic resting on the skin around our eyes

With the tiny hole above our mouths

Only giving us half a centimeter or less for breathing just so it can see how much it can cover

I hate this mask

It's so tight the string keeps snapping, my face and eyes demanding sunlight

So I bask in vitamin D that rains from the sky for a few moments before remembering it's dragging radiation with it

Then I slap that cheap plastic mask back on like I was a fugitive moments away from being caught and dragged back to prison for a crime I can't remember committing

But if I do get caught, I'll believe their words and follow into those balls and chains anyway

Now, here's some step by step instructions on freedom

Step One

Remove that ball and chain from your ankle

Step Two

Use it to smash that stupid mask

Because happiness isn't having everything you've ever wanted

But using what you've got to find it

To find you

Because I know the phrase "find yourself" is cheesy

But, pizza sucks without cheese

Maybe you wear the mask because you're afraid that you aren't good enough in grades or looks or friends

But remember that it's no coincidence that the human brain cell looks almost identical to the layout of the universe

And remember, there are billions of those cells being protected by your skull with is being protected by your face which senses the world around you and sends it back to those little universes and it just goes in circles

and circles

and circles

And never forget that your self worth is not based on the shape of those sensors on your face

Or on the size of your house

Or how quickly you heard about that one band

Or whether you broke your arm by wrestling a bear or by tripping on your dog and then falling gracefully down the stairs

Your worth is based on stars

On the way you look at them

The time you've spent on stopping for them

And how they help you decide what you're going to do with the life you have

Because sometimes you have to stare into infinity to realize that you don't have it

In my journal I threw a tantrum about wanting to be raw

To be purely me

100% Allie

And Mr. Nelson put a sticker on it that said "this is gold"

I'm sorry Nelson, but I have to disagree

Because if my worth is based on stars and then you add up the stars in the universes in my brain cells times the hours I've spend staring at the night sky, divided by the time I've worn the mask it equals

Priceless

And the words that came out it ink really leaked from the galaxies behind my eyes through my fingertips onto the paper so it wasn't actually gold

It was stardust

Now, I understand that the mask is persistent

And that the stars hide half the time

But when you're looking for stars in the daytime

You're forgetting about the one only eight minutes away

Holding the planets together

And giving you all of this blue.