We're sucking on air like we have the lungs of heavy smokers
But its not what's on the inside that's keeping oxygen out
It's what is out here
The plastic resting on the skin around our eyes
With the tiny hole above our mouths
Only giving us half a centimeter or less for breathing just so it can see how much it can cover
I hate this mask
It's so tight the string keeps snapping, my face and eyes demanding sunlight
So I bask in vitamin D that rains from the sky for a few moments before remembering it's dragging radiation with it
Then I slap that cheap plastic mask back on like I was a fugitive moments away from being caught and dragged back to prison for a crime I can't remember committing
But if I do get caught, I'll believe their words and follow into those balls and chains anyway
Now, here's some step by step instructions on freedom
Step One
Remove that ball and chain from your ankle
Step Two
Use it to smash that stupid mask
Because happiness isn't having everything you've ever wanted
But using what you've got to find it
To find you
Because I know the phrase "find yourself" is cheesy
But, pizza sucks without cheese
Maybe you wear the mask because you're afraid that you aren't good enough in grades or looks or friends
But remember that it's no coincidence that the human brain cell looks almost identical to the layout of the universe
And remember, there are billions of those cells being protected by your skull with is being protected by your face which senses the world around you and sends it back to those little universes and it just goes in circles
and circles
and circles
And never forget that your self worth is not based on the shape of those sensors on your face
Or on the size of your house
Or how quickly you heard about that one band
Or whether you broke your arm by wrestling a bear or by tripping on your dog and then falling gracefully down the stairs
Your worth is based on stars
On the way you look at them
The time you've spent on stopping for them
And how they help you decide what you're going to do with the life you have
Because sometimes you have to stare into infinity to realize that you don't have it
In my journal I threw a tantrum about wanting to be raw
To be purely me
100% Allie
And Mr. Nelson put a sticker on it that said "this is gold"
I'm sorry Nelson, but I have to disagree
Because if my worth is based on stars and then you add up the stars in the universes in my brain cells times the hours I've spend staring at the night sky, divided by the time I've worn the mask it equals
Priceless
And the words that came out it ink really leaked from the galaxies behind my eyes through my fingertips onto the paper so it wasn't actually gold
It was stardust
Now, I understand that the mask is persistent
And that the stars hide half the time
But when you're looking for stars in the daytime
You're forgetting about the one only eight minutes away
Holding the planets together
And giving you all of this blue.
